The Tragedy of Trayvon

Marches and rallies have been organized. Campaigns have raised money. Hooded sweatshirts have been worn. Facebook statuses have been updated. And celebrities, athletes, and politicians (including our very own president) have all weighed in. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a theory.

Whichever side of the fence you find yourself on in the fatal shooting of Trayvon Martin, one thing is certain, a tragedy occurred that night in Sanford, Florida. A tragedy that has unleashed nationwide protest and ushered in heated debates and raging discourse. Debates and discourse that seem to be more dedicated to creating division, than they do in providing us all with much needed direction. A type of direction that leads us closer to healing and harmony instead of hatred and hostility.

Whether you are willing to admit it or not, tensions are high, fingers are pointing, and racial divides are widening. All for the apparent search for justice.

Really? Justice, huh? Do we even know what justice lived out loud really looks like? If we do, do our daily actions reflect a deep connection to the concept? Are our innermost intentions and motives governed by the same humility and opposition to hatred that was modeled by courageous men and women who preceded us, and really got this idea of justice at their core? Men and women like Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Frederick Douglass, and Nelson Mandela.

Bottom-line friends is that we are divided as a nation. Still. If you don’t believe that, then just listen to this statistic. According to a Reuters poll conducted this week, 91% of black Americans believed the shooting of Trayvon Martin was unjustified while only 35% of whites believed it was. Pollster Chris Jackson said, “This incident is one of the clearest splits we’ve seen between blacks and whites.”

And it’s all George Zimmerman’s fault, right? Of course not! We were divided long before this devastating incident. Its just always been more comfortable to keep our true, deep-rooted feelings to ourselves.

Now let me be very clear, this is much more than a black and white issue. This is an issue that has to do with the brokenness in humanity. We are a broken people. Wherever you look there is conflict, lack of resolution, wars, and civil unrest. Israelis and Palestinians. Muslims and Christians. Cubans and Castro. And the list goes on.

The main point here is not determining whether George Zimmerman reacted in self-defense or if his actions were racially motivated.  The main point here is finding balance in our search for justice.

Think about this. We remain in quicksand when we don hoods, yet disrespect our fellow brother. We fail when we champion causes solely for the purposes of being seen, yet fail to possess enough character to love in private. We go backwards when we think we’ve figured everyone else out, yet are blind to the fact that we have yet to figure our own selves out.

Segregation, injustice, inequality, prejudice, discrimination, dehumanization, disenfranchisement, and narrow-mindedness still exist. It pains me to admit that, but it does. It may lie below the surface, but it’s there. And it’s our responsibility to bring it to the surface and deal with it.

My main purpose and motivation in writing this is to place under a microscope what I believe to be a pervading misalignment of our beliefs and our actions. We say we love, yet are so quick to leave behind those who are different from us. We say we are a compassionate people, yet we cast out those who don’t believe what we believe or look how we look. We sing hymns on Sunday, yet spew venom Monday thru Saturday. We update our Twitter feeds with Bible verses, yet interact with others as if they are somehow below us when their opinion doesn’t quite match up to ours. We quote heroes like Martin Luther King, Jr. on his birthday, yet on every other day of the year manage to walk a walk that is against everything he truly stood for.

So what’s the root cause of this paradoxical living? Answer. Self-promoting, pious, legalistic, parent-taught, close-minded, hate-filled, and dignity-stealing mentalities. Mentalities that include: us versus them, me against the world, your opinion is garbage while mine is truth, I’m right which obviously make you wrong, and I get it and clearly you never will. These mindsets are killing us and setting us up to continue a pattern that is not only destructive in nature but also generational.

The cause is clear and the solutions are even clearer. We need healing. We need to have the courage to address our conscious and unconscious biases. We need to hold each other accountable. We need to talk less and say more. We need to love the unlovable. We need reconciliation. We need to become catalysts of change, heroes of harmony, leaders of love, and proponents of peace. We need to be challenged by the words from the Preamble to our very own United States Constitution, which charges us to establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, and promote the general welfare. We need to repair conflict with care and compassion and fix separation with service and sacrifice.

When I think of an example of what’s required for love to become our national treasure, I think back 20 years ago to the worst thing I personally have ever seen. It was when Reginald Denny was pulled from his truck on the corner of Florence Avenue and Normandie during the L.A. riots of 1992. Men beat him, kicked him, hit him in the head with a hammer, spit on him, robbed him, laughed at him, and threw a concrete slab at his head rendering him unconscious. As LAPD stood by in the vicinity and did nothing, love happened to be watching his television. Love, as a fellow truck driver, got in his car and came to the aid of Mr. Denny. Love shielded Mr. Denny from his attackers and from the hatred that encircled him. Love put Mr. Denny back in his own truck and drove him to the hospital. Love’s name that day was Bobby Green. A black man that saw injustice being done to a fellow white trucker and responded. I sit here barely able to keep myself together as I think of the courage and valor of that man on that day. Bobby Green is a hero.

We too can be heroes. But truth is a prerequisite. It’s a must. It’s necessary in order to foster unity, oneness, and reveal our true selves.

May our hearts, minds, and souls be transformed by the power of love.

“…Indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”

The Little Boy with the Orange Water

A couple weeks ago, I came across the picture you see below. This picture, along with many others, is part of a video project I’m working on. As I was going through all the pictures to determine which ones were going to “make the cut”, this one in particular began to separate itself from the pack.  And I don’t quite know why.  I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s the dirt in his hair.  Maybe it’s his runny nose.  Or maybe it’s the oversized filthy shirt that has holes in it.

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I have never seen a picture that has moved me like this one. I’ve seen countless pictures like this one before, but for some odd reason there’s just something about it that beckons my full attention. It’s almost as if the picture is trying to tell me something.

One day, not too long after finding this picture, I had it up on my computer when my son Landon (4 years old) asked, “Daddy what’s that?” I said, “Son, what do you see?” His response was, “A little boy with orange water.” After he said that, I started to have a whole new perspective on the picture. A new picture began to form in my mind. Suddenly, aspects of the picture that were initially overlooked started to come to light.  For example, the value he looks to be placing on that bottle or that he looks like he’s alone, abandoned, helpless, and forgotten.

On the surface, there’s not a whole lot to the picture. We see no shack behind him. Several other children don’t surround him. It’s just a little boy on a dirt road with a bottle of orange water in his hands.  However, if you look a little deeper…you see so much more. You see a heartbeat.  You see a voice.  You see potential.  You see value.  You see a gift.

Forward the tape to a few days ago. I had the picture up again when Landon walked by. We proceeded to engage in a conversation that made me feel like I was talking to another thirty year old. As Landon and I were conversing, I randomly asked him, “Landon, what do you think about using the money we were going to spend on another video game and give it to this little boy?”

For the response he gave to really hold water, it’s important that you know how much he enjoys his video games and unfortunately how selfish he can be at times. Taking that into consideration, Landon responded with words that I won’t soon forget. Words that shook me to my core. Words that humbled me. Words that made me proud. Words that shined a light for me on a new type of responsibility. A responsibility that required our immediate response.

He said, “I want to give my money to that little boy, because I don’t want him to die and I want him to have white water.”

With those words, I was awakened to and reminded of the responsibility I have as a father to impress upon my children the principles and values that will shape them. A responsibility to condition and program in them, a thought pattern opposite to the “I want more now mentality ” that is setting our kids up to be part of a generation that will have little to no real impact.

But this post isn’t about fatherhood or our kid’s generational responsibility to society. It’s not about clean water. It’s not even about poverty per se. This post is about recognizing. Recognizing that there’s another world outside of our own. It’s about taking on. Taking on the responsibility of love and service to others. It’s about listening. Listening to the cries of the unheard. It’s about carrying. Carrying the burden, in some capacity, for those who are oppressed and exploited. It’s about re-sensitizing. Regaining a sensitivity to brokenness. Most vitally, it’s about doing something. Something that reveals in us the truth, that our good intentions are validated only by our implementation and our sincere motives are certified only by our movement.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  He’s setting me up.  He’s about to drop the hammer. The guilt trip conclusion must be on the horizon.  Well, it isn’t.  You can put your minds at ease.  I promise I’m not going to direct you to a humanitarian website, recommend things you can invest your money in that will outlive you, tell you how to spend your time between the hospital and the shelter or share with you “one of those videos” that will wreck you emotionally. And I’m not going to list a bunch of statistics either. Statistics have a tendency to startle and stir but rarely ever create anything sustained.

What I am trying to get across is that doing something really is the answer. Doing something, anything, not only heals others but also heals us.  So with that, I leave you with a great starting point.  A simple formula to reverse the cycle for the forgotten and the unheard.  Here it is: pray, identify, connect, and act.  That’s it.  No wallet opening.  No credit card swiping.

Take a second out of your day to pray for the protection of the unprotected.  Identify a cause, something you’re passionate about.  Connect with other like-minded individuals who possess that same passion.  And lastly, take action.

May we realize that when we do nothing, we become inadvertent accomplices to abject situations in the midst of our affluence.  Our affluence literally has the power to alleviate the agony of those in despair.  May we never take this responsibility lightly.  May our levels of compassion rise and may we all be moved to do something…anything!

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”  -Edmund Burke

The Fearlessness and Messiness of Dr. King

I have to be honest.  Attempting to write a few words about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. feels a little like practicing to play one-on-one with LeBron James.  I feel inadequate and unworthy to try and encapsulate such an iconic figure in a few paragraphs. 

But I will, because it’s my way of saying, “Thank you Dr. King for your legacy.”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights in the United States and around the world.  But instead of listing all of his exploits and accomplishments, which are vast, incredible and readily accessible, I will choose instead to focus on his mission.

Maybe you’ve heard this.  Maybe you haven’t.  But here are Dr. King’s very own words that he wanted shared at his memorial:

“If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long…. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize, that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards, that’s not important…. I’d like somebody to mention that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to say that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to love somebody…. I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.”

You see, no matter how detailed or extensive one would like Dr. King’s mission statement to be, it just doesn’t get any clearer or simpler than this.  “I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.”

To love and serve humanity was Dr. King’s sole mission.  A mission that he fought valiantly for. A mission that requires much more than just reading his quotes in awe or watching his speeches in amazement.  His mission requires our response.  A response that isn’t easy.  A response that isn’t popular.

His mission calls for contribution over comfort.  And what’s so enlightening about this call is there is no imperative for perfection.

Rarely talked about, Dr. King’s mission was carried out by a mortal man filled with flaws.  A man, that was known more for his reach to the masses than he ever was for his messiness. Although, it is widely known from his own associates and biographers that Dr. King, as a married man, had a “weakness for women.”  I mention this flaw, not to discredit Dr. King and surely not to condone his actions, but rather to shine a light on the fact that greatness can often still result from a broken vessel.

Dr. King devoted his life to his mission and subsequently lost it as a result.  Is that a price any of us are willing to pay for our mission?  I would like to say my answer would be yes.  The problem is I know me.  I know how challenging it can be to want something more than my actions reflect.  I know how weak and helpless I can be, at times, to look past myself and shift my focus to others. I know how greedy and unthankful I can be.  I know how unloving and judgemental I can be.  And I know how difficult it is to serve others.

However, the good news and beauty is that reparation is available.  Available for me…and available for you.  A repair that takes place when we acknowledge, forgive the cliche, that love is the answer.  Love is the only thing that can heal our hearts.  Let me repeat that one more time, love is the only thing that can heal our hearts.  The only thing that can heal us from our prejudices, our hardened hearts, and our messiness.

May we realize that our legacies are not limited by our mistakes and our messiness can still become magnificence.  A magnificence that possesses the power to penetrate others at their core and begin the process of healing and change.

Thank you Dr. King for your messiness and imperfection. Thank you Dr. King for an unapologetic life that bridged societal gaps, healed humanity divides, and closed cultural chasms.  Thank you Dr. King for a life that fought for love, compassion, reconciliation, harmony, integration, redemption, equity and justice.

Thank you Dr. King for being an activist, leader, visionary, and pioneer.  Thank you Dr. King for being defiant, disobedient, stubborn, insurgent, radical, and fearless.  Thank you Dr. King for being the author of the oxymoron (e.g. civil disobedience and nonviolent wars against injustice).  And thank you Dr. King for being a revolutionary.

From the Montgomery Bus Boycott and March on Washington to his opposition to the Vietnam War and his efforts to end poverty, Dr. King was a warrior of justness and impartiality.

What courage.  What a man.  What a life.  What an impact.

I leave us all with this challenge from Dr. King himself, “And it seems that I can hear the God of history saying, ‘That was not enough.  But I was hungry; and you fed me not.”

What a responsibility we all have.  The work, his work, is still a work in progress.  Incomplete. Unfinished.  Undone.  May we recognize that when we do nothing…we unintentionally contribute to injustice.

Happy birthday Dr. King!

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Takeaways From Tebow

Let me introduce you to Tim Tebow.  You may have heard his name before.  He’s the guy that last weekend completed an 80-yard touchdown pass on the first play in overtime to help his Denver Broncos advance to the 2nd round of the NFL Playoffs. He’s the guy, that after the game, nearly shut down twitter with 9,420 tweets per second mentioning his name. He’s the guy everyone’s talking about. He’s the guy that just keeps winning football games and defying all odds placed against him.

So what is it about Tim Tebow that has made him more viral than a Justin Bieber YouTube video? What is it that’s driving Tebow-mania?  Is it people wanting to see “the good guy” win? Maybe.  Is it people wanting to see him fail?  Possibly.  Is it divine intervention?  PUH-lease. Tell me we haven’t shrunk God down to a deity that wins football games and finds parking spots?

Before we head down the road of trying to figure out what’s really the driving force behind the Tebow mystique, let’s take a look at some Tebow history.

Tim Tebow was born in the Philippines.  While pregnant with him, his mom suffered a life-threatening infection.  Because of the complications, doctors expected a stillbirth and recommended an abortion.  His mom decided not to have one.

It’s almost as if Tim Tebow was being molded into a fighter even before he was born.  This fighter’s mentality has followed him his whole life.

In his junior year at Nease High School in Florida, Tim suffered an injury to his right leg during the first half of a game.  Originally thought to be a cramp by his training staff, he played the entire second half with a broken fibula.  You heard that right.  A broken fibula.  Not a headache or a hangnail but a broken bone.

In his sophomore year at Florida, he played against Florida St. where he threw for three touchdowns and rushed for two.  It was later revealed that he fractured his hand during the game. That year he won the Heisman Trophy.

Can you see a theme developing? 

Forward the tape to this year.  In Tebow’s first game as a Broncos starter, he rallied his team from a 15-0 deficit to win.  It was the largest come from behind victory with less than three minutes to play in NFL history. Over the next ten games as a starter he had five more “come from behind” victories (most ever by an NFL quarterback in that timespan). Last weekend, he set a postseason record for yards per completion.

You simply cannot count him out.  He seems to thrive best when the chips are most stacked against him.

By the way, do you know what Tim Tebow was doing for the first hour after last weekend’s overtime victory against the Steelers?  Tebow was spending that hour talking to 16-year old Bailey Knaub about her 73 surgeries so far and what TV show she likes.  ”Here he’d just played the game of his life,” recalls Bailey’s mother, “and the first thing he does after his press conference is come find Bailey and ask, ‘Did you get anything to eat?’ He acted like what he’d just done wasn’t anything, like it was all about Bailey.”

When I read that, I teared up.  I would love to believe that I would be the same way.  However, I question what I would do with that kind of acclaim, money and limelight.  After a win, would I be counting how many Facebook likes I got or how many tweets were sent out about me? Would I tune into SportsCenter that night to see if I made “Top Plays”?

The example this guy sets is humbling and awe-inspiring.

Here’s yet another example of his uncompromising integrity.  Check out what he had to say in response to why he spends so much time with sick and dying kids before and after each game. “It’s by far the best thing I do to get myself ready. Here you are, about to play a game that the world says is the most important thing in the world.  Win and they praise you.  Lose and they crush you.  And here I have a chance to talk to the coolest, most courageous people. It puts it all into perspective.  The game doesn’t really matter.  I mean, I’ll give 100 percent of my heart to win it, but in the end, the thing I most want to do is not win championships or make a lot of money, it’s to invest in people’s lives, to make a difference.”

Contrary to popular opinion, Tim Tebow is not God.  I will admit though, observing his unwavering faith, the decisions he makes and the way he chooses to conduct himself, can be a near religious experience.  I find it incredible that he flies ailing individuals and their families in for every game, home or away, just so that they can have one amazing day.  He rents them a car, puts them up in a hotel, buys them dinner, gets them great seats for the game, visits with them before and after the game, and sends them off with gift baskets.

The bottom-line is the guy gets it. He is as real and authentic as they come.  And he does it under a microscope, under the most intense and pressure-filled of conditions, and does it all with class, character and professionalism.

Win or lose this weekend against the Patriots, Tim Tebow’s legacy is in tact.  Although, if he wins, it will be pretty cool to see Twitter implode:)

Be it known, Tim Tebow is not a winner because he wins football games.  He’s not even a winner because he proclaims the name of Jesus.  Tim Tebow is a winner because his actions honor the name of Jesus.  Tim Tebow is a winner because he serves people over himself.

My main question is, “What are we going to do with all this Tebow inspiration?”  I keep reading all over the internet about how this one man has made the masses believe again.

In what? Him or his mission?

If the answer you give is his mission, then be prepared to act and serve even when the hysteria has died down.  Strip off the helmet and pads and what you’re left with is a mortal man making massive decisions with his life that we can all learn from.

May we be inspired to live out our proclamations and act in accordance with our beliefs.

GB2 [Go Broncos.  God Bless]

March to the Beat of a Different Current

If I said, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz…” could you finish the slogan?

What if I asked you what Nike’s logo was? Would you know it?

How about sitcom theme songs? Try and finish this one, “In west Philadelphia born and raised….”

Having any fun yet?  Did you get all three right?  If not, I’m sure the suspense is killing you.  So here are the answers.

If you finished “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz…” with “…oh what a relief it is.” then you nailed the world famous slogan for the fizzy stomach remedy, Alka-Seltzer.  If you said Nike’s logo was a swoosh, then you’re absolutely correct.  And if you started rapping, “…on the playground was where I spent most of my days…”, then you can be rest assured, The Fresh Prince himself, is somewhere smiling.  By the way, you can stop rapping now:)

All jokes aside, there is a very real connection between the slogans we can reel off from memory and the normal flow of our day-to-day routines.  The connection has to do with a concept I like to call the familiar.  The familiar is the acceptable…the status quo…the norm…the rehearsed…the expected.  Inherently, there’s nothing “wrong” with this concept.  However, when we begin to examine the things we do that are automatic and re-evaluate the things that have become second nature; huge opportunities arise.  Take for example saying, “I love you.”   How often do we light-heartedly use that expression?  How about when people ask us how we’re doing?  Independent of how we’re really feeling, almost always without hesitation our response is, you guessed it, “great.”
Can you begin to see where I’m going?

The familiar is also a mindset, which at times contains feelings of indifference and apathy.  It’s a psychology as well, that is ruled by emotions that do everything but feed our capacity for development and expansion.  Unfortunately, this mindset keeps us safe and doesn’t address the restlessness that often stirs us.  If you’re currently experiencing this restlessness then be encouraged.  It’s a great place to be. Uneasiness typically leads to discovery.  And discovery leads to freedom.  Freedom from the shackles of a sedentary life.

Yet another issue with the familiar is that it often becomes a substitute for the things that stretch us (e.g. executing on our great ideas and living our passion).  And when this happens, we remain stagnant and immobile. The longer we remain in this state, the longer we can expect to reside in “the no grow zone.”  It’s a place where dreams fade and mediocrity reigns.  And it doesn’t have to be that way.  It’s time.  Time to start packing our bags and take up new residence.  Time to move beyond the ordinary and never look back.

If you want more, you’ve got to relinquish the comfort and complacency of the familiar, at all costs. And grab hold of the more challenging and character-building aspects of life that release your true potential.

No one ever said it was going to be easy.  But who wants easy?  Easy equates to more of the same.  And more of the same is the archrival of things that are new.  New horizons. New outlooks. New landscapes. New opportunities.  New revelations…revelations that contain answers.  Answers that have slipped through our fingers for far too long.

Now is your time.  Stop abiding in unchallenged beliefs.  Begin questioning.  Delve deeper.

May we begin to leave the familiar and the mainstream for a different current.  A current that contains the immeasurable, the unconfined and the limitless.

Exit Resolutions. Enter Real Change.

New Year’s resolutions.  45% of Americans make them.  8% actually keep them.

From the looks of those statistics, it seems that nearly half of all Americans enjoy this wildly popular form of goal setting, while the other half consider it a waste of time. Whichever side of the fence you find yourself on, one thing’s for sure, New Year’s resolutions get a lot of attention.

But why?

I think the answer is because everyone wants to get better.  Now I know what you’re thinking. Not everyone wants to get better.  If that’s the way you see it then I may differ with you a little. You see, no matter how unwilling or resistant to change someone is or how far off the deep end someone may be, everyone still possesses at some level, a desire to be more than their present state. A desire for a life that closes the gap between the life they have and the life they want. A desire for real change.

So an important question then would be: how do we become more than what we’re experiencing? We’ll attempt to answer that question in a second.  But before we do, let me reveal something about myself.

This was the first year for me, where I didn’t actually spend the whole week leading up to New Years, abusing a yellow legal pad by drafting what I thought to be a blueprint for a flawless life. In times past, I have even been known to act as if December 31st had some inherent power in and of itself.  Here are some examples of just how far gone and in need of therapy I once was. I had to have my house vacuumed, my closet impeccable, my car washed and spotless, my spreadsheets in order, my hair cut (when I had hair), and my pantry resemble a grocery store grand opening.  The thought of going into another year without having everything obsessively organized was unacceptable for me.

Wait a minute, this is starting to sound like a pretty good idea for a reality show. We already have Hoarders. Why not film a documentary of my condition and call it End of the Year Nutcases.  All jokes aside, for me personally, there has always been a lure to a new year.  I guess I’ve just always believed or been duped into thinking that clean slates and new beginnings somehow erase all my issues. I know it sounds a little out there, but that has been my thought pattern for as long as I can remember…until this year.

This year, it finally hit me, that my opportunity to craft and formulate the life of my dreams is the same on December 31st as it is on January 1st or any other day of the year for that matter. Here is the status I posted on my Facebook recently that I think sums it all up: The significance of a new year is not found in the page-turning of a calendar but rather in the turning away from our old ways of thinking. 2012 will possess the same opportunity for excellence that 2011 did. May we realize that the things we desperately want to put in our rear view for 2012, will remain with us, until we fully embrace the more difficult less sexy ideas of what’s truly required from us to experience sustained change and “real” success. 

So, how do we become more?  How do we sustain change and what does “true” success look like?  To me, success is less about attainment and acquisition and more about submission and sacrifice.  A submission to the idea that what lives inside all of us is a phenomenal opportunity to lead, influence, and impact those around us.  A sacrifice of what is immediate and fleeting for what could be.  An acceptance and acknowledgement of the power of possibilities and the unlimited strength that exists in the struggle.  A struggle for what matters most…a struggle for what’s right…and a struggle to redefine what winning really is.

May we allow, not just this upcoming year, but this moment to be a defining one.  A moment where our paradigms shift, our beliefs are challenged, our vision expands, and our mission is clarified.

Happy New Year!

Deviate. Challenge the Quo. Be the Exception.

Only fourteen hours until Thanksgiving dinner is served.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave me a lot of time to throw together my world-famous pumpkin pie.  Wait a minute.  Did I say my world-famous pumpkin pie?  Sorry, I meant to say my mom’s world-famous pumpkin pie.  Simple mistake (enter in smiley face). 

Although my mom’s pumpkin pie is amazing, I still think I may have an upper hand on her. If you come close enough I’ll tell you my secret. My secret is found in the heaping measurement and the substituting of called for ingredients.  For example, when the recipe asks for 1 tablespoon of sugar, I measure 1 1/2 tablespoons.  When the recipe asks for 1 cup of whole milk, I pour in 1 cup of heavy whipping cream instead. I like to call it the measuring while in conversation and provisional technique. While you are pouring that tablespoon or cup just go right ahead and get lost in good conversation and keep pouring.  And so it goes with every ingredient. This approach, in my opinion, takes a dish from excellent to sinful. When a dish becomes sinful it becomes memorable.

You see I’ve never really been good at following directions.  You may call it stubborn, I like to affectionately refer to it as humble non-conformity.  I don’t listen well either. Don’t ask me why. I just don’t.  I am that guy that questions everything.  Sometimes I’m right; other times I’m not. One thing is for sure though, I refuse to sit around passively and blindly adhere to a process. Rules are made to be broken.  Processes are meant to be challenged.  Figuratively speaking then, how do we go about transforming the key areas of our lives from excellent to sinful?

Let’s begin by examining the words of one of my all-time favorite business minds, Seth Godin, on this very topic.  He says, in one of his most recent works Linchpin, “It’s time to stop complying with the system and draw your own map.  Stop settling for what’s good enough and start creating art that matters.  For hundreds of years, the population has been seduced, scammed, and brainwashed into fitting in, following instructions, and exchanging a day’s work for a day’s pay. You have brilliance in you, your contribution is valuable, and the art you create is precious.  Only you can do it, and you must.”

Listen, I’m not insinuating that you need to stand in defiant opposition or become an unreasonable rebel that pumps his or her fist at the system.  What I am saying is that the longer you go accepting everything and not questioning, settling and not blazing your own paths, and taking whatever life hands you, the longer you will remain stagnant and still.  As I often say, “The only way to guarantee more of the same is to continue to do more of the same.” Begin by embracing more risk, start pioneering different approaches, and explore new ways to go about doing things.

You are way too valuable to be boxed in occupationally, relationally, societally, or spiritually. Let today be the day where your settling ends.  Be confident in who you are, and more importantly, in what you are capable of in terms of the scale of your impact.  You have been gifted with skills, talents, and abilities that far surpass the limitations your fear or inaction place on you.

May you step outside of the boxes that compartmentalize you, march to the beat of a different drummer, ditch the formulas, and start pouring more than the recipe requires.

Clockwatching and Energy Drinks

How many of you have ever seen the arrow sign guys?  You know who I’m talking about.  I like to affectionately refer to them as advertising artists on steroids.  They are unmistakable, unforgettable, and have more energy pumping through their veins than a thoroughbred waiting for a race to start. The shows they put on can best be described as extraordinary street theatre.  It really is a sight to see them twirling and spinning their signs, throwing them up in the air, and sometimes even using them as an air guitar.  Cirque Du Soleil would be so proud, but not of all of them.

Yesterday, as I was waiting at a light, I saw a guy holding an arrow sign advertising a mattress company.  You can imagine my anticipation as I looked forward to him doing his thing. Well, that time never came.  Because on this day, Mr. Grumpy Pants was holding the sign. This poor guy looked as stoic as a Buckingham Palace guard.  He made The Grinch look like Big Bird. His face looked so unhappy and his shoulders were so shrugged that I began to wonder if some network had cancelled his favorite television show. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A job that has one main requirement, to portray an infectious personality, looked to be too much of a challenge for him.

Thoughts came rushing in my head like who hired this guy and why haven’t they replaced him yet. For goodness’ sake, he even looked down at his watch.  Now, I don’t know about you but when someone is clockwatching it’s a pretty good indicator that they are bored out of their mind. I felt like rolling my window down and saying, “Hey man, it’s ok to look at your watch but at least moonwalk while you’re doing it.”  Needless to say, the mattress company didn’t get their money’s worth.

I think this guy’s decision to not fulfill his job description is representative, in a microcosmic sense, of what plagues many of us, not only at work, but also in our personal life.  Far too often, we navigate our daily lives without a heightened sense of optimism.  The way we represent ourselves speaks to how we value our work and others.  Without energy, excitement, and a positive outlook we are doomed to not giving our key relationships, families, and organizations their money’s worth.

I realize that not all of us are sign twirlers by nature. I’m not implying that we all should be. What I am saying is that we need to improve in this area.  We need to smile more often, laugh more often, and challenge our capacity for enthusiasm.  These are all standards worth raising. When we do this, we begin to reduce the stress, pressure, and strain that typically come along with being so dispirited. Figuratively speaking, let’s grab our signs and start twirling them like never before. What do we have to lose?

May we begin to infuse our lives with more emotion and live with greater passion. It’s a formula that works every time.

Soups, Salads & Sandwiches

Once in a while everyone needs a good old-fashioned decompression session.  A time to take a deep breath and collect your thoughts.  A time when, like the Southwest Airlines slogan says, you just get away.  For me it’s one of those days.  Typically, my get away spots are the library, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or Atlanta Bread.  Today I chose Atlanta Bread.

Right now, I’m actually sitting in a pretty cool spot at Atlanta Bread where, from my vantage point, I can see the whole restaurant.  I see people waiting in line to order, at their tables with displayed numbers waiting for their lunch, eating with their families, cleaning up their kid’s spills, laughing, and in conversation.  I see people wearing dress shirts, short sleeve t-shirts, long sleeve t-shirts, sweatshirts, hooded sweatshirts, sweaters, vests, turtlenecks, and jackets. I see kids, singles, couples, and families.  I see breads, bagels, sandwiches, danishes, and muffins.  I see ten different coffees & teas and eight different sodas to choose from. Everywhere I look I see variety.

Sitting, reading, and observing got me thinking about how many individual stories must be in this room.  A room likely filled with parents, divorcees, veterans, adolescents, widows, business owners, and those experiencing career transition.  Individuals who have unparalleled interests, goals, dreams, and passions as well as individuals experiencing pain, hurt, struggles, and heartache.

In a room with this many people from all walks of life I’m reminded of how beautiful life is. How complex and vast it is yet how simple and small it can be.  I think of how critical it is to love people, to be driven by your passions, and to live every moment as if it were your last.  Really, think about that for a second.  How would you live if you knew when you were going to die?  I realize that sounds a little morbid but it’s a powerful question.  A question that makes me think of a quote from the late Richard Carlson.  In a love letter written to his wife on their anniversary three years prior to his death, Richard Carlson said this, “If I had one hour to live I’ll tell you whom I wouldn’t call.  It wouldn’t be my stockbroker, my financial planner, my banker, or my CPA.”  Simple idea.  Profound truth.

Embrace your uniqueness.  Celebrate your differences.  Maximize your worth.

May we become vigilant observers, emphatic celebrators, and a passionate people that love, revere, and appreciate the beauty and variety that is life.

Parallels In Lawn Care

This morning, while waiting for my Apple Cider to boil, I looked outside and decided to cut my lawn one last time before the winter. I’m guessing this sudden burst of energy to do yard work really meant I was just to lazy to rake the leaves.  Whatever my motivation, thinking about cutting the lawn made me think about our neighbor’s lawn.  Our neighbors have a lawn that looks like the front cover of a Home & Garden magazine.  In comparison, if their lawn is freshly baked focaccia bread right out of the oven from Panera Bread then our lawn is day-old burnt toast from Denny’s.  I’m being serious. You could literally grab a pillow and have a decent nights sleep on their lawn.  All jokes aside, our neighbors, who happen to be amazing people, have a very simple formula for creating a phenomenal lawn.

The formula is: aeration, fertilization, treatment, watering, mowing often, and mowing at the right height.  Sounds simple enough, right?  If it’s that easy then why doesn’t everyone’s lawn look like theirs?  The answer.  They, unlike the majority, relentlessly implement a time-tested formula that generates excellent results.

Here are a few parallels you can take from our neighbor’s lawn.

1. Be Thorough 

Don’t expect the desired outcome if you leave out, for example, watering.  Can you imagine what your lawn would look life if you did everything except water it?  Each step in the formula must be executed.  The same is true in your life.  You can plan, map out, and prepare but if you don’t act you will remain stuck and unproductive.

2. Consistency Is Everything

I can see it now.  Everyone reading this is going to go out and buy an aerator and start watering their lawn more often. If you do that, but only for a week, then you can expect a burnt piece of toast for a lawn like I mentioned earlier.  The process needs to be applied over and over.  Short-lived execution reminds me of the commercial where the guy weighs himself before his run, runs around the gym once, then weighs himself again expecting some huge weight loss.  John Wooden, former UCLA basketball coach, put it best.  ”Repetition is the key to mastery.”

3. Sequence Is Key

For example, it would make no sense to aerate for the first time right before you mow for the last time.  The same is true with implementing your formula for success.  If you execute without first laying out a strategy then you may find yourself falling short of what it is you are trying to accomplish.

Aerate…Fertilize…Treat…Water…Mow.  Simple lessons from a lawn.

May you find what’s working, change what isn’t, and be consistent with the rest.

Yams and Pie Filling

The best time of year is finally here.  Can you smell it in the air yet?  Can you feel it? Christmas trees are already lining malls, grocery stores are stocking up, and credit cards are trembling with fear.  The holiday season is upon us.  Let the joyous rush begin.

Yesterday, in preparation for the first major holiday of the season, I stopped by the grocery store. As I was shopping, I came across what I consider to be two Thanksgiving staples: Bruce’s Yams and Libby’s Pumpkin Pie Filling.  These are two items that you better not wait until the last second to get.  If you do, be prepared to stare at empty shelves.

In our household, they are an absolute must for Thanksgiving.  My wife uses Bruce’s Yams to prepare this downright sinful sweet potato dish. You might as well consider it a dessert.  It’s unbelievable.  And I use Libby’s Pumpkin Pie Filling to make this naughty cream cheese pumpkin pie that is to die for.  As far as I’m concerned, Bruce’s Yams and Libby’s Pumpkin Pie Filling are just as important as a turkey or a ham.  I cannot have a Thanksgiving meal without them.  If any of you ever invite me over for Thanksgiving, and choose not to invite Brother Bruce or Sister Libby, be prepared for my early exit.  Just kidding.

What are some of your staples, not just for Thanksgiving, but everyday?  What are some things you can’t go without? What do you need everyday?  What completes you?  What gets you?  If the first thing that comes to your mind is coffee then you have a problem.  Sorry, that was a shot at my wife. Love you honey.  Seriously, my wife (Natalie) and kids (Landon & Calleigh) are my staples.  I can’t go without them.  I need them everyday. They complete me.  They get me.  I am a thousand times better of a man because of them.

With that, I encourage you this holiday season to keep the first things first.  Don’t get so caught up in an overflowing itinerary that you miss the season.  It only comes once a year.

May you, this holiday season, take it all in and not miss a moment.  This time next year is not promised.  All we have is now.  Sip slowly.  Embrace intentionally.  Happy Holidays!

Life Is Short. Believe Hard.

Lately, I have been on a book-buying binge.  If you know me, then this should come as no surprise. From library book sales to thrift stores, I have been like a literary Tasmanian Devil.  A few books I recently bought were from an author by the name of Richard Carlson.  His most popular book was, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…And It’s All Small Stuff.  It was #1 for two consecutive years on USA Today’s bestseller list.

Typically, when I buy a book I like to learn as much about the author as I can.  To learn more about Mr. Carlson, I visited his Wikipedia page.  After looking around his page for a few minutes, I came across something that surprised me.  His death.  Richard Carlson died of a pulmonary embolism at 45 years young.  I had no idea.  Prior to his premature death, he was rapidly acquiring notoriety and appearing on many well-known talk shows as well as continuing to write many successful books.  A wife and two teenage daughters survive him. After reading his bio, I was reminded that God’s timing is God’s timing.

Keeping that in mind, I want to share with you 4 Beliefs That Have the Power to Transform.

1. You’re Much More Than What You’re Experiencing

• Keep fighting
• Never give up
• Never give in
• Never concede
• Always trust
• Your time is coming.  It’s on the horizon.  BELIEVE THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY!

2. Investing Your Life In What Outlives You Brings True Fulfillment

• Focus on others over yourself
• Gain perspective
• Embrace humility
• Find the best in people
• Take action for “real” change not “recognition”

3. Your Past Doesn’t Define You, Your Future Doesn’t Owe You

• Take up new residence far from the negativity of your past
• Life owes you nothing
• Take responsibility
• Never choose the victim route
• Control your controllables
• Seize the moment

4. Love Is Always the Answer

• Forgive
• Treasure others
• Embrace diversity
• Love your neighbor (The Greatest Commandment)

 May we increase our trust, capture the moment, and live for what outlives us.

Things Often Overlooked

A few days ago, my wife’s cousin posted a video on her Facebook page. The video was from TED.com and showcased Neil Pasricha and his 3 A’s of Awesome.  In the video, Neil talks about overcoming personal adversity through noticing and appreciating the little things.  In light of how inspired I was from that video, I thought I would compile my own list of things often overlooked. Here they are.

• Being first in a newly opened checkout line
• New car smell
• Getting to the bank right before it closes on Friday
• Thunderstorms
• Someone asking you if you’ve been working out
• Getting the doneness of your steak just right
• Realizing the 8 is actually a 6 on your alarm clock
• Getting the parking space right up front
• 3 paycheck months
• Your favorite sports team winning a close one
• Vacations
• Friday afternoons
• Turning the radio on and hearing your jam
• Laughing
• Sweatpants after work
• The UPS package you were waiting for
• Your phone dying while you’re talking to someone you don’t want to.  Just kidding.

You get the point.  Now it’s your turn.  Compile your list.  Long or short.  It’s an exercise that pays dividends.  I promise.

And may we realize that what we often overlook may actually contain what it is that we’re most looking for.

4 Strategies for Increased Efficiency

Think about this.  Have you ever come to the end of the day and asked yourself where did the day go or more importantly what, if anything, did I accomplish?  Are you spinning your wheels like never before only to see little to no progress?  If you’re not satisfied with your responses to any of those questions then here are 4 Strategies for Increased Efficiency.

1. Make Time for Yourself

Notice, I didn’t say try and make time for yourself.  I said MAKE time for yourself.  This is one of the most overlooked aspects of personal growth.  I am a firm believer that you cannot help anyone until you first help yourself.  Exercise, read a book, pray, or go for a walk.  It’s completely up to you.

2. Take One Day at a Time

The only thing better than long-term planning is day-to-day implementation.  You cannot control the future.  All you have is now.  Evaluate your progress daily.  When you do this, it allows you to be fully engaged in that day.  The key to pulling this off is preparation.

3. Write Down Your Wins

Call it journaling, documenting, or writing in a diary.  Whatever you call it, you need to write down your accomplishments, achievements, and recognitions on a daily basis.  The advantage in doing this is two-fold.  1. You can always look back on them.  2. It forces you to recognize the small things and feeds your capacity for gratitude and enhances your perspective.

4. Make It Happen

Lastly, you need to execute, implement, and apply what needs to be done.  As Anthony Robbins says, “You may know it, but if you aren’t doing it, you don’t know it.”  You need to finish what you start. You need to relentlessly take your ideas from the theory stage and massively act on them.  I know this is the hard part but it’s the ultimate ingredient.  Without it, you will continue to get more mediocre, stagnant, and average outcomes.

The bottom-line is that we’re all more bogged down, stressed, drained, exhausted, and frustrated than ever before.  The best way to reverse this trend is to seek incremental improvements daily. Progressive, consistent, and sustained change over time is the key.

May you decelerate long enough to implement the strategies that will bring about the greatest levels of fulfillment, contentment, and satisfaction to your life.

Listen to the Quiet

One of the greatest privileges of my lifetime was knowing my wife’s granny. She reminded me so much of my grandmother.  She was beautiful, sweet, compassionate, loving, and selfless. One day, not too long before she passed away we had a conversation.  And like any conversation I have with a sage, I was listening intently for anything I could grab from her vast experience and apply to my life.  As we were talking, she said something that changed my outlook on life.  She said, “Listen to the quiet more often.”  To this day, I think back on that conversation and it reminds me of the importance of pursuing a life that limits the noise and minimizes the distractions.

I don’t know about you, but it feels like life has never been louder than it is today.

Think about this.  Remember when you had to locate a pay phone to make a call?  Now, from the palm of your hand, not only can you make a call with a device that is not connected to anything, but you can also check your eBay account, see what the weather is like in San Diego, pay a bill, play a game, text someone in another country, read a book, get directions, and take pictures and video in HD.  I’m sure it won’t be long before you’re able to vacuum and blow up air mattresses with your phone.

As another example, take your weekly trip to Wal-Mart or Target.  I’m sure you’re still wondering how you go into one of these amusement parks looking for milk and come out with a receipt as long as a yardstick.  The reason this happens is because advertising is geared to playing to your emotions. From free samples and alluring displays to the cashier enticing you into saving 15% if you sign up for their credit card, it’s all meant to sway your decisions and cloud your judgments.  At times, the noise can be downright deafening.

Everywhere you look, from every direction, something is always trying to grab your attention and compete for your time.  If you’re looking for increased clarity, peace of mind, and freedom you’re not going to find it in more technology or more “things.”  You will only find it by recognizing what to tune out, and most importantly, what to tune into more of.

May you strive for simplicity, overvalue what matters most, and listen close enough to hear the still small voice of the quiet.

The Most Important E of Parenting

I was watching the Today Show recently and they were interviewing Tom Brokaw.  As he was being interviewed, Mr. Brokaw mentioned a recent visit by South Korean President Lee Myung-bak to the White House.  During President Myung-bak’s visit, President Obama asked him what his country’s greatest educational challenge is.  His response was, “Our parents demand too much from us.

Pause for a second and let that one sink in.

What did he mean by that?  Was he saying that the parents in his country get on his nerves? Was he implying that they should just take it easy?  I don’t think so.  I think he was speaking to the uncompromising standards of his country’s educational system.  Do we, here in the United States, demand the same educational excellence?  The following is an excerpt from a recent Alliance 4 Excellent Education article.

“As globalization has progressed, American educational progress has stagnated.  Today, the United States’ high school graduation rate ranks near the bottom among developed nations. And on virtually every international assessment of academic proficiency, American secondary school students’ performance varies from mediocre to poor.  Given that human capital is a prerequisite for success in the global economy, U.S. economic competitiveness is unsustainable with poorly prepared students feeding into the workforce.  The United States has substantial inequities in achievement across the country.”

Here is yet another startling statistic.  Every day 7,000 students drop out of high school.  Why? What is missing?  What on earth are we going to do about this crisis?  How can we stop the hemorrhaging?

The answer is engagement.

We must engage our children.  And I will be the first one to admit that is not an easy task. Engagement by definition means an obligation, to pledge, to promise, and my personal favorite, to battle.  But what does that look like on a normal day-to-day basis?  A great place to start is by turning off our TVs and having conversations with our kids.  We need to avoid asking them rehearsed questions and start posing substantive inquiries about their days.  Most critically, we need to listen to their responses.  Another great step would be to fire our PlayStation nannies and Xbox babysitters. Our inaction will only perpetuate the crisis.  We can do this. We must do this.

As for me, I have never been a very good student.  I hated studying and never considered myself a very hard worker in school.  So how did I end up receiving my MBA?  Was it because I was an Asian American Doogie Howser?  Not even close.  Was it because I was just that much smarter than the next guy?  Yeah right.  I finished my graduate degree because my parents instilled in me and drove home the value and premium of an education at a very young age.  They also read to me, listened to me, asked me where I was going, rode bikes with me, and most importantly never gave up on me. They engaged me every step of the way.

May we realize that education alone is not the answer.  Engaging the torchbearers of change is.

The Power of Two Words

Joe Paterno released a statement Wednesday afternoon.  In that statement he said, “I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season.”  Wednesday evening, Joe Paterno received a phone call from the Penn State board of trustees.  In that call he was told, effective immediately, he was fired.

With those two words, effective immediately, Joe Paterno’s legacy was destroyed.  Now, the winningest coach in college football history, not only has to deal with a destroyed legacy but the brutal fact that his inaction has wreaked havoc on countless families.  What many thought was going to be a storybook ending has now turned into a nightmare.

As incomprehensible and deplorable as the sexual abuse of children is, it still isn’t the main issue here.  The real issue is what happens when personal and external accountability are absent. Accountability, in the truest sense of the word, is much more than someone keeping tabs on you.  It is an excavation of your innermost intentions and motives.  It is a keen awareness of what you are capable of in your humanness.  It is an intentional effort to surround yourself with those select few individuals who consistently deliver the truth to you in love, no matter how painful or crippling some of those conversations might be.

My challenge to us all is that we become so much more than Facebook activists who are incredibly adept at just leaving a comment, re-sharing an article, or pressing a like button. Instead, I urge us all to take advantage of our uneasiness about this tragedy and translate it into prayer and action for those who are enduring the horrifying experience of being sexually abused on a daily basis.

May we, effective immediately, take the necessary steps towards putting microphones into the hands of the unheard.